Friday, May 21, 2010


Because you can't retell a story that has been told

I feel really inferior when people all around me know their directions in life and are moving nearer towards their goals each passing day. The amount of passion they have in the things they do; the amount of joy they received from what they're doing. Such people, I really admire them. So where's mine? It's been 3 years and I have yet to nurture the love for it. I seriously don't know where to go from here and I'm stuck in an unbearable position. Sometimes I panicked.

Often I thought how my life would be right now if I made the other choice back then. Perhaps I'd belong to the group of people I mentioned above. Perhaps I'd be regretting even more. But at least, I know that's a choice I really want. That is where I want to be. That is where I once picture myself to be in. But no, there's nothing I can do now because I'd sealed my fate with this - somewhere which I don't even belong to in the first place. And I know it all boils down to the decision I made 3 years ago, or to be even more precise, 5 years ago. If only I'd stayed firm in my choice back then. But right now it's too late to be debating over all these. It's not even worth the time for me to be thinking of it. So why can't I just accept it and live with it?

Alright all of these aside, I have lots of work to be completed by this weekend but I am still not doing it. I know it's silly because when Sunday arrives I'll be blaming myself for shoving school work till the very last minute. But right now I just don't feel like doing them and I don't want to care about it. And roar, because of my indecisiveness, because I don't know what I want, because everything clashes on the same day, because I have to continue waiting, because the whole process is such a torture, my mood gets screwed up. & it'll be really good to avoid me as far as possible now because I really don't know what will happen if I were to explode like a volcano.

Yucks, this whole thing really sucks ttm. I can now feel a tinge of regret on the decision I'd just made. I've just ruined my promising future with my own bare hands. Well done, Yina.

4:27 pm
PROFILE

when things just fall
and break up all,
do not cry and fall along too.
stand up and be brave,
and fight all the way through.
even though
it's always so difficult,
remember,
it's always worth
trying a little more.
do not cry too hard
when things just fall.
do not fall too hard
when things just sucks.
smile and you will be alright.

LINKS
Alicia
Henry
Jia Yi
Jolyn
Shaun

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