At times I can't help but to ponder about matters like "why can others but not me?". I am not quite sure if I am expecting too much in life, or I am just plain envious of them (envious, not jealous). Or perhaps, maybe I fall below the average of what life expects us to be. Because sometimes I feel so small, I tend to question my capabilities and abilities. Could it be due to my poor time management? Could it be due to my lack of determination and commitment? Could it be due to my ignorance? I don't know, and I need some answers. I appreciate the fact that friends tried to build up the confidence in me. But sometimes, a fatal blow to it and everything else is being shattered. As I'm building up my life, I'm ruining it at the same time. As I'm holding on to something, I'm letting go of it as well. I don't know if what I am doing now is right. I don't know if I were to look back at my life in the future, I would dislike myself for missing out on this much of things. Come to think of it, I am feeling afraid. Often wonder why I get emotional rush late at night. Perhaps because there's no distraction, I get the whole time to myself, I reflect about my life. Like what jt said, it just means that I need to sleep early. That makes sense. So I'm heading to bed now. Good night, world!

This is not an emo post. I am just merely reflecting on my life.