So yes. I have gained. God blessed me with many things. But He took away something as precious away from me as well. Forget it, I won't pursue for it anymore. I wouldn't ask you people to place yourselves in my shoes again. Because I know, even if you were to go through the same path as I did, you wouldn't feel the same as how I did. You wouldn't have the thoughts that I have. And that's simply beacuse, you aren't me. We are different.

And I knew,
I had already lost the battle before I've even started fighting.